Friday, October 15, 2010

The monster under the bed or God…Which do you believe in more?

Bedtime has been a big battle around here lately. Kid is at that age where her imagination is taking off and she can’t tell reality from fantasy.

All parents have been through this…there is a MONSTER under the bed! How can we possibly expect kid to go to sleep when her life are in peril!! (Kid is a drama queen)

We have tried reasoning with her….flashing a light under the bed to reveal only a lost shoe, doll and a sock or two…NOPE! There is a MONSTER there!

We have tried sending daddy in to ‘beat the monster up.’ Nightlights, leaving all the lights on, monster go away spray….

We tried explaining to her that God is always with her and that He would never let a monster hurt her.

This morning, after a long bedtime battle last night, a simple thought came to me- She believes in monsters more than she believes in God.

I then thought about all the ‘monsters’ many adults believe in- and warn so greatly against. I grew up hearing that watching shows like Bewitched, Adams Family, Smurfs, and so on would cause me to be ‘open to demons’ and would lead directly to the occult! Halloween? You would be better off hiding out in the basement in fear and trembling than dress up and get candy. Don’t forget Cabbage Patch Dolls!

We claim that ‘God is bigger than the boogey man’ yet we are terrified of what lurks around every corner. What does this say about our faith? About how we view God? Do we honestly believe that God is so week that He can’t over some any silly little demons that hide out in Harry Potter? Are we so easily lead that we think that dressing up and getting candy is in any way equal to what has been done in the past (or may even go on now) on Halloween? What does it say when we are scared to watch certain TV shows?

The kid has an excuse for her misplaced belief in monsters- her brain is not fully developed, she does not have logic or reasoning skills, and her imagination runs wild. Her faith in God has yet to become real and solid. We adults should have outgrown these flights of fancy years ago. Our faith in a real and personable God should be firmly in place. We should be able to see that a TV show or a book, or a fun holiday is just that and not full of lurking evils.

In short; adults should know better and their lack of faith in God in these things is appalling.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I was 'saved' but I did not have salvation.

Growing up in the teeny-tiny fundamentalist Baptist church by the creek (I do not recall the name of this church, but I recall the creek I used to look at through the window) I was well versed in the "You are a horrible, rotten, evil sinner and God would rather just throw you in hell.  There were many hell fire and brimstone sermons, and at the age of five, I was terrified enough that I went forward during the altar call and was 'saved.'  This is a process that was repeated many times over the years...only it was called 're-dedication.'  There would be a sermon on a particular 'sin' I would be scared of hell, question the sincerity of my salvation, get 'saved' again and hope it sticks this time. Rinse, lather, repeat.

The sins preached against were numerous. Watching a specific TV show, reading a certain magazine, listening to a certain music group, wearing 'immodest' clothes, not being 'bold enough,' The list of  'sins' goes on and on. Over time, though. I slowly came to a realization. These things were not sins, or at least not as 'sinful' as some people made them out to be.

I felt driven to read my Bible for itself, to try to forget everything I was taught and simply read. I found this amazing thing called grace. I had always heard that we are saved by grace, but then, you better follow all these rules' in order to be 'truly saved.' Not only that, but the rules I was made to follow, to feel hell-bound over, were man-made- or man-made extremes.

Reading the Bible just in and of itself, I realized that God does, in fact, have 'rules' for us to follow but they have precious little to do with what I had been taught all those years.

God's greatest command is LOVE...He said so himself when asked what the greatest command was. Jesus said, in short, to "Love God with all of your being and love your neighbor as yourself." I read further on and see "Let us love one another, for love is of God and anyone that loves not knows not God." "They will know you are my disciples by your love." and so on.

I read on and found Matthew 25 about the sheep and goats and how they are separated. It isn't by what we are entertained by, it isn't what we wear...but how we LOVE and care for our fellow man.

Love is another thing that was distorted in my growing up. "Love" was defined as "Telling people they are horrible, rotten sinners that God will toss into hell. This is not Biblical love. The love God wants us to share is found in 1 Corinthians 13. You know it..Love is patient, keeps no records of wrongs.

Love, Biblical love, is what I found to be the difference between being 'saved' and receiving salvation. It is understanding God's undying love for us. God does not want to toss in hell; he wants for no one to perish! God so loved us that he sent his son, who endured unspeakable pain and agony so we can be saved.

Having that love in you can't help but bubble over and overflow and reach out to others. We don't love because it is on the checklist of holiness; we do it because we have realized just how God loves us and in realizing that and letting his love wash over can't HELP but spread it around.  You see someone in need and your heart yearns to help them. It pains you to see suffering in any form.  This isn't a work; it comes as natural and predictable as the sunrise.

When you let His love come and captivate you, when you toss aside the 'rules' and let the Holy Spirit work a mighty work in your life? THAT is when salvation comes. You realize that there is noting you can do to earn salvation, and that your very best efforts are what God thinks are filthy, horrible, and rotten- not you someone who he created the innermost being of certainly not one he sent Jesus for.

This is grace. This is freedom. This is what God desires for us.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Wherein I whine....

I am just slap exhausted.....and I can't sleep.  My body hurts head to toe, every joint, muscle and even to the bone in some places.  I suck the pain and drag myself through the day the best I can and not say anything about hurting. No one wants to hear the whining anyway. It sucks.

I can't muster the energy to get moving and do the things I need to do.  My house is a total wreck I am sick of working my ass off at work all day, only to come home and have to clean the house...only to have it trashed again by the next day. I am a person of neatness and order. Mess and chaos disturbs me.  I can not function properly when things are not in order. I have tried to explain this to my husband till I am blue in the face. Last time we had this go round he did exactly ONE load of laundry. WOW. I am sick to death of being the only one who gives a shit.

I seriously need to get some work done on my current house projects. I am wanting to clear out the two upstairs rooms so I can make one into a playroom for the kid and another into a hobby (mainly soaping) room for me. I have to clear both rooms out, then paint the floor and walls then move everything back in.

I am also trying to get to the origional hardwood floor in the kitchen.  We have nice hardwood that is covered by 70'sish vinyl tiles covered with plywood (250+ nails per board!!) covered with another vinyl tile covered by even more vinyl.

Who is doing this work, alone? You guessed! If I don't do it then it will never get done.
I want to get my soapping business going. I really want to do this so I can stay at home while earning money and having the freedom working for yourself provides. This is a HUGE desire of mine.

I need rest, I need energy, I need some give a damn. I need to not hurt!  I need HELP! I need to get the ball rolling on my business. Instead I just feel like I am sinking.

/end whine

Sunday, June 13, 2010


Sometimes the sermon or lesson in Bible study on Sunday morning is so very timely.

Our adult Bible study group is reading through the book Crazy Love by Frances Chan.  This week was Chapter two: You may not finish this chapter. The reason is not because you will be 'convicted' or it may contain things that you don't want to is because you may die before you do so.  What a sobering thought!

Our life is but a vapor.

Some recent events highlight this all too sadly. Who among the campers in Arkansas had a clue that as they laid down to sleep in their tents, cabins, and campers that night would be their last? I imagine that they all went to sleep that night with eager anticipation of what the morning may bring; hiking, marshmallow roasts, fishing, swimming in the river, or whatever else they had plans for. I can't imagine that any of them gave a passing thought that they would be swept away in a freak flash flood.

Even closer to home, just yesterday-after graduation, a young life was struck down in a car accident. Who would have guessed as this young woman receiving her high school diploma she would be dead just a few short hours later?  One minute celebrating success and hoping for the future, the next gone.

How often do we wake up and seriously think that this day could be our last? When we get in the car for a run to the grocery store to buy a gallon of milk, how many ponder the fact that they may never make it back home? How would our lives change if we pondered our sudden death more often? How would we live, what legacy would we strive to leave behind? How would we leave our loved ones as we step out the door? How would we be ready to meet God?

As further reminder of the vapor of our lives, I got my very first Morning Glory bloom today (pictured above). Morning glories bloom in huge, beautiful flowers then slowly fade, curl up and die...all in a matter of hours.

Remember to live your life to the fullest because you never know when your moment will come.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Big ideas from the kid

Big idea 1...If your date has fangs sticking out from his mouth, RUN because that means he is a vampire!

Big idea 2.....I have decided that I am not going to brush my teeth anymore because I like it when the tooth fairy comes and leaves me money.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Man, I love my kid

Two things in the last week make me think that I am doing good by the kid.

1) upon hearing about the CNN study on children and race, I found the picture (actually, I paused the vid on my computer) used and asked her some of the questions. She looked at me like I sprouted a second head. "Mommy, they are ALL pretty!" "MOMMY!! It is MEAN to say any of then are ugly!" (she then threatened to spank my butt)

2) I explained to her that we have laws that say a store owner can't throw a person out of their store because they are black, or hispanic, or whatever else. Then, I told her that someone thinks we should not have those laws.

Her response? Mommy! That is EVIL!!

(I used store and race for simplicity...she IS seven and has the attention span of a humming bird on speed)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

A few random things about me

~ I am a native Texan who now lives in North Carolina
~ I am the mother to the kid, who is 7
~ I have been married for 9 years
~ I have a soap making business (check out slide show to the left for pictures of some of my designs)
~ I am 4'11 and 1/2 THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
~ I want a pet pig and I would name it bacon.
~ I have a twisted sense of humor
~ I am very strong minded and an independent thinker. People seem annoyed by this for some reason....and it amuses me.
~ My favorite meal is chicken fried steak. No one here can make it right...or even at all.
~ We bought our first house three years ago. I have never lived in an owned house, I grew up in apartments.
~ I miss the beautiful roadsides of Texas spring- especially bluebonnets.
~ I have a BS in Psychology. What am I doing with it? Cleaning the church. Hey that is better than nothing!
~ We have two cats, Jojo and Sophie and a bunny, Alice. All are rescues.
~ I love to read and study different subjects. Sadly, now a days, I just do not have the time or attention span.
~ I grew up for most of my child as a strict fundamentalist. I HATED those ugly denim skirts/ jumpers and my long split end, stringy hair. They day before I started Highschool- I gave that all up, cut my hair into a bob, threw the skirts/ jumpers away and found a less legalistic church.
~ I am all about loving and saving the earth.
~ I am an unapologetic liberal...christian, too. Imagine that!
~ I hear thunder right now and it is making me miss the house rattling thunder from home.  It is not REAL thunder if it does not make you jump out of your skin!

That is about it for now. I am just your average Jane boring person. ;)